Conflict Management

We are down to only 7 days until Grace officially starts school. She is only starting preschool but next year it will be Kindergarten and then the next year 1st grade and so on. Which brings me to the realization that my oldest daughter is really STARTING SCHOOL. I'm not really sure how I feel about this permanent addition to our lives. We are going to have to deal with other people. Other kids. Other parents. There is something secure about being a stay at home mom with your kids. You feel like you have a sense of control on who your kids interact with, talk to, and play with. This is purely a loving control, of course. You oversee almost everything. For the last 4 years, there have been very few days and nights that Grace and I have been apart. She's been my buddy, a trying one at times, but a permanent fixture in my day to day life.

The sad part of this for me is feeling like I'm losing some of her. The absolute exciting part of this is feeling like I'm losing some of her. Grace is extremely social and very much a child that thrives being around lots of other people. The hard part in that is that I see the day when she doesn't want me to rub her face and sing her a bedtime song, coming very soon. Then there will be new ways of interacting with her and having fun with her. I look forward to the day when her and I can go shopping and she's not jumping up and down everywhere because of boredom! I know those days will come all too soon.

For today, though, I have my 4 year old home and I can protect her, or so I think, from all the harmful things that the world has. Today I am able to make sure she is safe and that no one is harming her. Today, I'll hug her any time I want to. Then again, today might be the day that I will wish school started TODAY. There are all kinds of conflicts that mothers have internally. This is just one of mine. Excited about her starting school but also very sad about her starting school. I'm normal, I think.

Oh and I guess I should mention that Grace will be going to school at the same place that her daddy works. He'll be across the hall from where her classroom is. Couldn't have a better situation to transition good ole' mom into letting go just a little. I think I need conflict management.