I am very excited about this...

What does that make me?

My family and I took a trip to the Oregon Heritage Farms today for some good old fashion apple picking. We drove out of city limits and into the countryside of rolling mountainous hills, grassy plains, and lots of gorgeous farm lands. We saw everything from Christmas tree farms, peach orchards, vineyards, hazelnut trees, walnut trees, apple trees, strawberry bushes, tomato vines, and even wild blackberries growing on the side of the road. I have never lived in such a beautiful place as I do right now. Portland, Oregon area has the most magnificent nature that God created. Because of this beauty, I've learned a lot about nature and have become fascinated with simply being in it and apart of it. I know, I know, I'm sounding rather "green" and "earthy", right now. It isn't about any of that. It's about something so much bigger.

If you've ever been in a heavily forested area and you see beauty all around you. It is more than that though. Sit and listen. Close your eyes and concentrate, not on the trees, but on the spiritual nature around you. It's as if those trees, bushes, flowers, and shades of grass have one purpose. Worship. We are all here to worship. I felt this so strongly today when I gazed out of my passenger side window out to the vastness of God's earth. I watched the very tops of the trees and how they swayed from here to there and could almost see the admiration to their creator. It's almost as if the wild blueberry produce in simple thankfulness to the One who made them. The absolute wonder of creation is extremely spiritual. Not the creation itself but the nature in which it worships.

David Crowder sings a song called, "Everything Glorious". In this song he sings,

You make everything glorious
And I am Yours
What does that make me?

Friday Foto

I haven't done a Friday Foto in a long time. I guess with school starting, I need to get back to a routine too. So here we are!




This photo was taken at the Portland Rose Garden which is very famous for the thousands of different roses. It is a beautiful place to visit if you are ever in Portland. The many roses makes you look slowly and reflect many things. For me, when I walk through there I am always hit with how much God loves color.

The Dreaming Highway

I'm married to an very interesting man that never ceases to amaze me. Bryan is not the kind of guy you'll find watching Monday night football or spending his Saturday under the hood of a car. Both of which are totally okay with me as I hate football and would rather not have to deal with grease stains on clothes. No, you'll find my man staying up until the wee hours of the morning on his laptop writing. He is either writing some sort of story that comes from a place in his imagination that only few people in this world have or he's writing lyrics to songs that move you. He recently wrote a book that has a lot of underlined meanings for us. The name of the main character of this book is Seth, after our first son that never made it to delivery. The spiritual journey of Seth isn't too far from where Bryan and I have been at times. Searching and asking questions that we grew up thinking were wrong to ask. This isn't exactly your cookie cutter "Christian" book but a book that shows real emotion, relevant questions, and humorous antidotes to keep you intrigued. Obviously, I hope you buy his book. I hope you tell your friends about this book. But, don't do it just because Bryan Thompson is some friend of yours or my husband. Do it because the book speaks for itself.

You can buy the book here!

God choose me.

The adventure continues with baby #3. Starting week 16 with excitement for just 3 more weeks of wondering what this little person is inside me. A boy? Or girl? I'm really excited about either one. As many of you know, getting excited about having a surprise 3rd baby took me awhile. I had a lot of emotional and mind transition to take when I found out I was pregnant again. With every doctor's appointments, I would get more and more excited and more and more at peace with the idea of having 3 kids. But, it wasn't until I found a perfectly beautiful bassinet on craigslist, did I truly let myself go and get overly thrilled about having another baby. I brought home an almost brand new bassinet, that I got for a great deal, cleaned it up and put it all together. I sat it beside my bed and then stood back. This is real. Finally, this is all really real to me. I don't know how I'll do it all. I know that laundry will pile up. I know that my house will not stay very clean, as it already has a lot of practice in that. I know that there will be times when I struggle with giving each one of my kids the individual attention that they need at that very moment. And I know that I will feel like I'm losing my mind on some days, but looking at that bassinet makes me smile and put my hand on my growing belly and know that God is faithful.

I started out this journey of having kids with much anticipation and then when that anticipation turned into doubt and fear of ever hearing the word, "Mommy", you would have thought that I had lost all hope. Now, I know that some women are called to be doctors, some nurses, some teachers, lawyers, or politicians. All of which are great and mighty callings in life. I don't always like staying home day in and day out and there are times when I scratch my head and wonder what in the world I was thinking in wanting all these kids. Those are fleeting, yet real, moments that are just that. I don't have a college degree that hangs on my wall. But, I do have a family picture that makes me smile, cry, and laugh all at the same time knowing the road that we've traveled all together. I don't have certificates tucked in a file some place that recognized me for my accomplishments, but I do have a mother's day card with 2 sets of hand prints that says, "We love you, mommy!" I can't say that what it feels like to have that diploma on the wall, but I can say that I would give up all the years of college, recognition, and certifications for the daily moment to moment experiences that I get to be present for as a mom that stays home as her calling.

I'm not perfect. I'm not even almost but for some reason God chose me to be the mother of Grace, Hope, and baby #3. I was chosen out of all the women in the world to be their mom and I take that very seriously. I cherish my calling and with that I am more excited than ever to welcome this very wanted new addition to our family. I can't wait!

Brain Mush

My parents are coming for a visit today. In fact they are about 2 hours away. This is exciting for all of us but especially for Grace. My day has been so busy with cleaning and getting everything ready. My day has also been extremely long with question, after question from my dear little 4 year old daughter, Grace. An average conversation of the day went something like this. Keep in mind that the number of these conversations could not be counted as there were too many to count.

Grace: Where is Aunt Jenni going to sleep? In my bed?
ME: Yes, in your bed.
GRACE: So, Aunt Jenni is sleeping me my bed. Where is Aunt Jenni sleeping? In my bed?
ME: Yes, in your bed. *sigh*
GRACE: I can't believe Aunt Jenni will be sleeping in my bed. I'm so excited. Where is Aunt Jenni sleeping? In my bed? Do you think Aunt Jenni will like my bed? Is my bed too boring? Maybe if I put Patches (her bear) on the bed it will make it more exciting? Do you think, Mom?
ME: Uh huh.
GRACE: I think it will. Because Aunt Jenni is sleeping my bed and I will let her sleep with Patches because she will be sleeping in my bed. pause, pause, pause
ME: (thinking the conversation is over......finally)
GRACE: Where is Aunt Jenni going to sleep?
ME: Do we have to talk about this again?
GRACE: But, I just want to know?
ME: *sigh* AUNT JENNI WILL BE SLEEPING IN YOUR BED!
GRACE: I just can't wait for Aunt Jenni to sleep in my bed!
GRACE: Is tomorrow a school day or church day?

Due to the length of the conversation, I will spare you. You get the point.
My brain is mush.

My rant for the day

I'm not a huge political person. When the presidential elections come around, I educate myself on the candidates and then decided which one I can vote for and still sleep at night. I don't like getting into political discussions with people for many reasons but mainly because I just don't care to argue things that neither of us can really do much about. You spend a ton of energy arguing over issues that you can either vote for or against but that is usually the extent of the "voice" that many of us have as Americans.

I don't agree with everything that our President does. I don't disagree with everything either. I try to keep a well balanced opinion to myself. Today, I can't help myself though. Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo News, even Momlogic has been putting headlines, comments, and tweets all about President Obama's speech to students tomorrow. Maybe it is just me, but I just don't see the point of this argument. I remember being in school when President George H.W. Bush gave his "back to school" speech but I couldn't tell you one thing that he said. Why? Because it was a moment in my life that made an impact simply because he was the president of the United States at the time, but the things I remember where the conversations that my parents would have about political, social, and local issues. As a teenager and very young adult my opinions were based on their opinions, as with most people at that age. This brings me to my entire point about the President's speech tomorrow. This will only be as big of a deal in your child's life, if you make it a big deal. Either negative or positive.

You can ask Grace who our President is and she will tell you, "President Obama". We will train our children to respect whoever is in the office and to pray for all of our government. I refuse to be one of those "right fighter" (and I do not mean right as in Republican) parents that makes mountains out of mole hills. I would rather talk to my kids about the neighbor that just lost their job and helping me to bring them meals. That is an area that I know I can make a difference that matters.

I will continue to vote. But, please excuse me as I push my chair back and exit the room from the discussion that contains nothing but disrespect and disregard. Your children will listen to someone, alright. It will be YOU.

Conflict Management

We are down to only 7 days until Grace officially starts school. She is only starting preschool but next year it will be Kindergarten and then the next year 1st grade and so on. Which brings me to the realization that my oldest daughter is really STARTING SCHOOL. I'm not really sure how I feel about this permanent addition to our lives. We are going to have to deal with other people. Other kids. Other parents. There is something secure about being a stay at home mom with your kids. You feel like you have a sense of control on who your kids interact with, talk to, and play with. This is purely a loving control, of course. You oversee almost everything. For the last 4 years, there have been very few days and nights that Grace and I have been apart. She's been my buddy, a trying one at times, but a permanent fixture in my day to day life.

The sad part of this for me is feeling like I'm losing some of her. The absolute exciting part of this is feeling like I'm losing some of her. Grace is extremely social and very much a child that thrives being around lots of other people. The hard part in that is that I see the day when she doesn't want me to rub her face and sing her a bedtime song, coming very soon. Then there will be new ways of interacting with her and having fun with her. I look forward to the day when her and I can go shopping and she's not jumping up and down everywhere because of boredom! I know those days will come all too soon.

For today, though, I have my 4 year old home and I can protect her, or so I think, from all the harmful things that the world has. Today I am able to make sure she is safe and that no one is harming her. Today, I'll hug her any time I want to. Then again, today might be the day that I will wish school started TODAY. There are all kinds of conflicts that mothers have internally. This is just one of mine. Excited about her starting school but also very sad about her starting school. I'm normal, I think.

Oh and I guess I should mention that Grace will be going to school at the same place that her daddy works. He'll be across the hall from where her classroom is. Couldn't have a better situation to transition good ole' mom into letting go just a little. I think I need conflict management.