I married into a family that is from another part of the country than I am from. We try to visit as often as we can, but even that is only once a year. When we go we often hear the question of "why we don't live closer?". It begins to feel as though where ever we decided to live in our life, will never be quite good enough unless it is within a 3 hours drive. It's hard as the "outsider" to not take all these comments from family and friends to be personal, since I am not from there feeling as though I'm to blame for "taking" their boy from his habitat. My perspective on the whole thing is my own reality of today. We live here, you live there. That's reality right at this moment. Why contemplate what could be and miss out on what is? It's something my husband and I talk about often. We only have today. And really we don't even have that. We have this moment. So, let's take this moment by the horns and live it to the fullest.
As I parent and become the person I desire to be. My prayers begin to change. I'm praying that I can be flexible with my kids in allowing them my blessing to go and be whatever it is they choose. To enjoy their visits to the fullest without wishing or wanting more than they can give. To realize that my job is to raise them in the knowledge of Christ and believe in themselves to conquer life on their own in a way that makes me proud. But, to also know that their life is not about me. God didn't give me charge over them for this time in order for them to "serve" me in a way that I deem acceptable. I pray that God grants me the understanding to accept who they are even now. So often, as parents, we take for granted that our kids are so much apart of us that we fail to give them room to be something apart from us. I admit that there are parts of my oldest daughter that I don't understand and she's only 5. But, I accept those parts as hers. My children are really not my own. God has granted me the privilege of being their parent for this time. Ultimately, they are God's. We are all God's. One day if the road that Grace travels lands her in some foreign country, I'll use whatever means I can to stay in contact with her and embrace her life for her. Giving my unharnessed blessing because in that she will become free to be who she is. Knowing that in my own sacrifice of love for her, she will respect me even more and desire to be apart of MY life and not just me desiring to be apart of HER life.
I hope and pray that when that time comes, I can make those choices right. I pray that for now, I accept who each of my children are in their own unique personalities. Not an easy task, but one that is worth my time of learning.
3 comments:
Great post, Kristin. I am so thankful for parents who never hindered me from moving outside of their "realm". Parents who insist on their children staying close to home inhibit the potential growth in that child. I've seen it so many times, and it's sad. It's nothing more than a parent being selfish, and not releasing their child to be all that they can be. Like you stated, my 4 year old daughter has yet to move out, so hopefully I'll be singing the same tune then.
What a real, and honest post on parenting. This is a perfect encouragement for parents at any stage of parenting. With our three month old I pray the same way that she will become the girl, woman, wife, and child of God the He has ordained. I already find myself wanting to keep her the same size or the same age but realizing that in order for her to be who God intended I need to "let go". Still it is a easier said then done task.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
JM
Thank you both. It is hard to know how we'll respond when our time comes. I think realizing all of this, though, is half the battle.
Post a Comment