Miracle Hope

When my children have birthdays I think it's only natural for mothers to go back to the day they were born. The unbelievable love that you feel for them at that moment carries on through out the day of their birthday in a fresh way.

When I reminisce about Hope's birth I feel nothing but gratefulness to my God. I had found out I was pregnant with her just 2 days prior to Mother's Day 2007. We had been trying to have a 2nd child for about a year with having a miscarriage earlier that year, I was not discouraged but extremely hopeful. I began that Mother's Day feeling very prayerful about the baby growing inside me but ended that day in the ER for bleeding. I had already reserved myself to the reality that I was miscarrying yet again. I remember sitting on the side of the cold hospital bed with my feet moving back and forth. Bryan was sitting in the chair across from me and we didn't say much to one another. We just sat in silence knowing that when the doctor came back to do the exam he would confirm what we both feared. Having gone through this 3 times before, one at 19 weeks, we knew that life went on. We were thankful for Grace and knew that the possibility of only having one may be our reality since one or both of my ovaries had been harmed in the previous 19 weeks loss. The doctor did indeed come in only to shock us and tell us that everything looked great! We were rushed down to ultrasound to check everything else and there she was. Just a little espresso bean at that time, but I remember seeing her beating heart on that monitor and praying for each beat. I was immediately put on semi bed rest and told to follow up with my regular doctor. The entire pregnancy was like that. Bleeding off and on. A lot of pain in places that were unusual. A placenta in the wrong place. Progesterone extremely low. Many ultrasounds which determined each time that the baby was perfect and growing. I was put on bed rest almost my entire pregnancy with her.

Her name is not by accident. Just as Grace's name holds special significance so does Hope's. She was my hope. God had proven to me that with a little hope, almost anything is possible. When I delivered Hope on January 8, 2008 at 2:28p.m. weighing in at 6lbs 10oz. and 22 1/2 in. long, I cried. I cried in relief that she was finally here. I cried because I could finally look for myself that she indeed was really okay. It was a moment that I will never forget and one that I will only have with Hope. It was the moment that God revealed to me his mercy in my life. Through almost losing Hope at the beginning to holding her pink body 9 months later was more than I could handle. It was a God moment. To this day when I watch Hope play, I can only sit and revel in God's greatest miracle in my life. Hope Louise, happy 2nd Birthday!