I'm one lucky girl

I feel like I'm in a camp for the navy seals or something. My day doesn't quite ever end. I go from kid to kid, need to need, want to want, and then do it all again. All day. All night. When I'm not attending to some need or demand, I'm worrying about each child individually. Are they developing the way they need to? Will Hope grow out of dropping the first letter of her words? When will she learn to use the potty? What is going through her head that she will pee on the floor NEXT to the potty chair? Is she scared of it? How can I help her? Am I holding her enough? Hugging her enough? Spending enough time with her?

Is Grace acting out? What is the behavior for? What is the reason? Why? What did I do wrong? What can I do to prevent it from happening again? Am I holding her enough? Am I spending enough time with just her? Is she being treated fairly at school? How can I encourage a healthy self esteem? Is she ready to start reading? How do I teach her? Which school will she go to?

Then there is Noel? She is 5 weeks old. There are a million and a half questions that go through my head as I'm feeding her and watching her sleep. Mostly, though, she's the easy one right now.

I worry. I am a worrier. I try not to but it just happens. Then tonight something happened. I was sitting in the mall food court with my crew of a family. We were sharing some Chinese food. Noel was sleeping peacefully in her stroller next to me. She had the milk drunk look since I had just fed her. Her mouth was slightly opened in a way that made me want to just lean down and kiss it! I looked across from me and Hope was picking out all the peas in her rice and placing them on her fork then shoveling them into her mouth. I smiled. I turned my eyes to Grace sitting next to her. She was talking nonstop about the flower girl dress we had just bought her. In between bits of sweet and sour chicken she talked, talked, and talked. I smiled. I sat in my chair eating my Beijing beef while my husband sat next to me. I could feel his arm brush against mine as he gave all his attention to his food. Again, I smiled. Then I said this, "I'm one lucky girl to be needed by so many."

It's true. I'm stretched beyond my own capability and at times I think I might go crazy. Literally. But, I'm one lucky girl to be needed by so many.